It’s been A DAY in the llama house. I believe the military spouse circles refer to it as the “deployment curse”. I woke up with my right eye crusted shut, red, and disgusting. My work offers teladoc appointments so I was “fortunate” enough to have my pink eye diagnosis by 8am. Pharmacy did not open until 9am but at least I did not have to go anywhere with the munchkins that early.
We continue our day with Papa building Boo’s loft bed in preparation for virtual learning. Hunk-a-Chunk was so excited to go downstairs and tell sissy about her bed that he didn’t watch where he was going and fell/slid/rolled down the stairs. Cue the (understandable but hysterical) crying of a terrified and bruised 4 year-old.
But our day isn’t over friends! We got a new foster dog today. She is adorable, fluffy and HUGE. I also suspect she may be deaf, or the name on her paperwork was made up on the fly, because she doesn’t respond at all when you talk to her.
The first couple of days with a foster dog are a little stressful because you don’t know their stressors, their fears, their habits and they don’t yours. I didn’t manage to get her outside until after she peed on the floor (my fault- not hers) but she just adorably followed me around all evening, to the living room, outside, upstairs to check on the kids. The problem arose when I came back downstairs. She stayed up there. Weird but okay- until she started barking. I call her name- no response. I go upstairs to see what is going on.
She is sitting at the top of my stairs, shaking. I walk up to her, take ahold of her collar and tell her to come on. She lays down, shaking more. That’s super weird. Almost like….she is afraid of stairs. Or has never seen them.
Girlfriend?! Have you never seen stairs before?
Of course she doesn’t answer. But I can’t leave her up there because the exit to the outside is downstairs. So I try putting her on her leash. No go. I try bribing her with treats. She just stares at me. I sit on the step and try offering her veggie straws. She takes a bite and lets it fall.
Girlfriend- you can’t just live at the top of the steps like a gargoyle. We have to get you down. We’ll do it together. Also- who doesn’t like veggie straws?
She looks unconvinced but I’m committed. I don’t want her to be terrified all night, and I’d rather not clean up another mess if I don’t have to.
I put my bag of veggie straws down, grab her collar with one hand, and slowly ease my other arm around her butt, going slow in case she shows any aggression in her terrified state. Then I half carry/half push her down to the next step.
Success!! We made it! One whole step! Only 10 more to go! WoooHooo!
But mama llama? Why didn’t you just carry her down the steps then?
Great question dear friends. I told you that she was huge but did I forget to mention her weight? This girl is 70lbs+. I canNOT carry 70lbs across a room, let alone down a flight of steps.
Back to our story.
So I have her on the first step, she is still shaking so we take a break. I can’t let go of her because I’m afraid she will back her ginormous booty up and we will be back to square one. I am bracing myself against 70lbs of terrified fluff and doesn’t our own mutt take advantage of the situation. He sneaks in behind me to eat the veggie straws that are sitting on the step behind me (because in this house- we all love veggie straws). I can’t do anything but try to hip check him so I don’t scare our new guest more.
I manage to fend off the fatty and scoot myself down to the next step. Then I drag her to join me. Rest. Repeat. 9 more times. By the time we got to the bottom she was thrilled, I was sweating, and my arms were shaking from the exercise.
Oh- she also hasn’t seen a cat before. Because 2 hours later she tried to follow our feline up the stairs.
Girlfriend noooooo!!!!
