– A mama, munchkin and dada adventure
Prologue
This is really just another chapter in the car, dryer, pipes saga. We *thought* we had our lives together again. Car was peacefully put down and is now in car heaven, new dryer is installed and working beautifully, and the pipes? Well, they were good for a while.
Join me friends on tonight’s adventure….
We have had a drip coming into the basement for a couple of weeks now. Nothing major, and nothing compared to the craziness before, so we figured we would get to it eventually. We have been following Ray the plumber’s wife’s advice and putting baking soda and vinegar down the tub drain once a week. It backed up again (during an army weekend of course). So Papa (my dad, to keep the dads in this story straight) bought a special camera/snake thing, took the toilet off, and found that one of my children has a bowel problem. This bowel problem results in hard little poop nuggets that were stuck in the pipe and built up to cause the clog. Papa removes the poop nuggets, curses Hubby for being at Army and missing the “fun”, and life is good. For about a day.
Then the toilet starts making *the* sound again. The one that I’m afraid to hear so now I get anxiety every time I have to pee, because I know if I hear it, bad things are coming.
Remain calm and man your battle stations!
Baking soda and vinegar. Check!
Does not work.
Plunge the tub and/or toilet. Check!
Does not work. In fact it makes the problem worse. Now we have disgusting toilet water coming up our tub. Gross.
Chapter 1
Yea. That was ALL just leading up to the real story friends. Unfortunately we are in a holding pattern with the shower/toilet. We can’t pull the toilet off to find the leak until the tub drains. If we don’t wait, we will end up with poop water all over the bathroom. And the tub is currently draining at a pace slower than a drunk snail. Hmmm- but tonight is bath night. And grocery shopping night. So what will we do friends? Did you guess “Come up with a plan and have it backfire in a spectacular fashion”? DING DING DING.
Here’s the plan- I will run to the store, hubby will rip out the back wall of the kitchen cabinets to look at the pipe, and then we will all run over to my parents for a shower.
Here’s what actually happened- Hubby starts tearing things out and I run to the store. Easy! I get home and he is still tearing things out. I decide to keep this success train moving and run the kids over to my parents, by myself. Quick and easy right? Wrong.
Get to my parents house, unlock the door since nobody is home and throw my keys in the basket like I always do (this part is important for later). I get both kids ready and turn the water on. Ice cold. Turn the knob. Scalding hot. Turn the knob again just a little bit. Ice cold. Repeat five times until I get it to something slightly warmer than the Artic Ocean. Meanwhile both kids start yelling about having to poop. At the exact same time. Hunka-chunk is convinced that Papa’s toilet is broken like ours and refuses to get near it (I’m obviously not the one with PTSD about toilets now). I get Boo to do her business and also convince her that the shower is not too cold or not too hot. It’s juuuuust right. She believes me for about 5 seconds until her hair gets wet and cold. Now she’s yelling at me, Papa is calling me and Hunka-chunk still needs to poop. Papa says he’s on his way home. Since the water is now off I leave Boo in the shower to wait and run Hunka-Chunk downstairs to use that toilet. He starts doing his business and a blood-curdling scream comes from upstairs. I tear through the house to find that the diva is now chilly and requires a towel while she waits. Run back downstairs to check on Hunk. He *almost* breaks that toilet and then Papa arrives home.
Get everyone taken care of and I hear Papa banging on the wall. Now I’m not a plumber but I know that’s not a good sound. Ten minutes later and Papa still can’t get the shower to a decent temp.
Okay. Improvise. Adapt. Overcome.
I have two small children, one of whom is soaking wet, and we all need showers. Send an S.O.S text to my parent’s neighbors and beg to use their shower. Luckily, we have known them for 15 years and they are now used to my particular brand of crazy and they invite us over.
Get the kids half- redressed since its cold out and off we go next door. Where their teenage daughter is attempting to have her piano lesson. I try to herd my oh-so-quiet children into the bathroom and get them in a working shower. Hubby tries to call me but I can’t hear a word over the kids arguing about who gets to go first, so I hang up on him. We all three manage to get showers and into clean clothes without any casualties.WINNING!!!
Chapter 2
After our showers, it’s time to head home. I need my keys that I left at Papa’s in the hustle. We walk over and I try to open the door.
It’s locked.
Hmmm that’s weird. I text Papa. He’s not home now, he ran out. My key to their house is inside. My key to MY house is locked inside. GAHHHH
Improvise. Adapt. Overcome.
Luckily my kiddos broke my key chain years ago so I have an extra car key that stays in my car so we can drive home. No worries kiddos we’ve got this. Text hubby that we are coming home and he says he’s on his way over.
Me, “Over where?!?”
Hubby, “To the neighbors to take a shower! I’m gross”
Me, “We’re not at the neighbors now, we’re back at my parents, and we can’t interrupt that piano lesson for the fifth time!!!”
Like that’s not bad enough-no one was home when he left, so he locked the door to our house. We’ve already established that I don’t have a house key for ANY house. So now I have to wait for him to walk over (Remember- we currently only have one car since his died). At this point I just give up and sit on the front porch step and the kids amuse themselves by rocking on the chair. Oh- and I forgot to mention -in all of the craziness of getting the kids dried and dressed with fogged up glasses I couldn’t find the pair of underwear I swear I grabbed for myself. So I’m sitting on this step with one less layer of protection between my butt and the cold concrete until Hubby gets here. Fabulous.
Thank the good Lord above hubby grabbed his set of keys and also has a key to my parent’s house. He gets an ice-cold shower, everyone gets in the car and off to home we go. To destroyed kitchen cabinets, the pipe Hubby found with a two-foot long crack in it and a poopy tub.
Be it ever so humble, there’s no place like home.
Epilogue
An hour later I get a text from Papa, “Our shower is working fine now”.
Of course it is.
Wow!!! Tootsie ! Wow